Happy New Year!

So when did this new year begin? I feel like I just blinked my eyes and we are here, 2009.

OK, so a quick post because my new year rang in with an oven fire, carbon monoxide in the house, and three sick children!!!

So, for this new year, I resolve to expect the unexpected! This pretty much sums up my life. However, I am not always willing to go with the flow, or roll with the punches. God is in control over, not just the big things in my life, but all the little things like ovens and ear infections.

New Years Resolutions are often broken, or forgotten about, or people find that they just cannot keep them. This year, I think I'll make it easy on myself and expect that I cannot do anything, at least without God. I will try to expect the unexpected and allow God to move in my life in the way he sees fit. Because, isn't that what he's been doing for the last 33 years of my life? I have only had the illusion of control - I have no control.

God is in control. He has my life in His hands. He has 2009 all planned out for me already. Wow, what a relief! I pray that I will, by His grace, accept each day as a blessing, and rely on Him, and not myself to do what He has called me to do.

The Revolving Door

Upon moving to State College, PA, we were warned about the "revolving door". We were told to expect to lose at least one good friend a year. State College is a transitional community. Penn State draws people here, but for the purpose of sending them away. Our excitement about the move and the church clouded the reality of what would inevitably come.

As I looked around the church on Sunday morning, it hit me. The church looks very different than it did three and a half years ago when we arrived. My eyes glance at certain pews expecting to see certain people, but only to realize that those who have claimed those pews for the last few years are not there.

This is our fourth year here in State College. We have turned "full circle" so to speak. Those that were freshman when we arrived are now graduating. Families who have come seeking PhD's are finishing up. Those in campus ministry are moving on. All these people we have grown to love are beginning a new chapter in their lives. And it's much harder than I thought it would be! I feel hesitant to grow attached to anyone new, because I know they will soon leave.

I lost a dear friend this past weekend. She is moving on with a new chapter in her life. Soon, another student who I have grown to love will graduate. And come late Summer, another round of families, and students will claims their spots in the pews where others have worshiped.

But there is a certain excitement to the "revolving door". I have to remind myself of this. Meeting people who come from all over the country and the world is a special privilege that many do not get to experience. I already have learned so much from many different people. And perhaps the most exciting aspect of the "revolving door" comes with great responsibility. We have an awesome opportunity to make a difference in the lives of students; believers and non-believers. That's why I should never hesitate to grow attached. I should seek to grow attached. My family, and our church, has a responsibility to love, support, encourage, and minister to those that come to State College, even if for a short time.

It is hard, and it will not get any easier to watch people come and go. The challenge will be to embrace the "revolving door", develop the relationships, pour my heart into them, let them go, and start all over again . . .

How many jobs do you have?

For those of you who may be moms, do you ever feel like you working a never-ending shift at a local resteraunt?

"I want breakfast"
"I am thirsty. I want milk"
"I need a spoon!"
"I dropped my napkin!"
"What's for dinner?
"I don't like this!"
"Can we have a snack?"

Or maybe a housekeeper at the local hotel . . . .

-laundry, laundry, laundry, putting away the laundry, then more laundry
-Clorox wipes glued to your side . . .
-Windex glued to your other side (all those fingerprints)

Or maybe a general in the army commanding the troops . . .

"Make your bed!"
"Pick up your room!"
"Brush your teeth!"
"Leave your brother alone!"
"Leave your sister alone!"
"Don't touch!"

Or the psychologist . . .

"Now why are you feeling this way?"
"Is there something you need to talk about?"
"What is bothering you?"

And of course the teacher . . .

"Where does milk come from?"
-cows
"Days of the week are Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Donut Day!!!!"
-well actually it's Saturday
"Can you show me how to write 'Grandma'?"
-yes, sure honey!
"Mommy, what is the Trinity?"
-well, that's a good one for daddy!!!!

Well congratulations moms! We have the ability to work five jobs at one time! And some of you may work outside the home, as well! I haven't even mentioned the "job" of wife! No wonder why we are exhausted at the end of the day!

And you know what? It's OK to be exhausted at the end of the day! It's OK to be frustrated with not seeing the fruits of our labors. God understands our exhaustion and weaknesses, which should be a great source of comfort. Hebrews 4:15-16 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find the grace to help in time of need."

The role of wife and mother is a high calling. In the chaos of day to day, I often tell myself, "I am working for the Lord. God is my employer." I talk with my "boss" throughout the day, asking for advice and instruction, but I still fail miserably! I am not sure I'll ever make "employee of the year". Thankfully, I can never be fired. I have a merciful "boss", who lets me make my mistakes and allows me to learn from them. I can turn to Him, knowing that without His grace, this job of mother will not work.

So, tomorrow when you wake up, exhausted already, to start working your "five" jobs, remember to report to your "boss" first. And check in with Him throughout the day. The job will never be easy. We may not feel rested for years to come. We may not see the fruits of our labors for years to come. But as Christians, we have already received the greatest reward in our Savior! As mothers, we can serve Him in serving our children!

Baby Belle is 5!!

Where did the time go? I remember so clearly the anticipation of the arrival of my first daughter! A girl, after two boys! What is better than that? Dresses, bows, cute little shoes, pink, purple, etc. She was this cute, sweet, innocent little baby girl. OK, can someone tell me what is wrong with the previous statement? Innocent? Not so much!! In time, that cute, sweet baby girl grew and she started to destroy those dresses, shoes . . . and forget any bows! She screams and fights with her brothers. She rolls her eyes at Mommy and Daddy. She pouts. She slams doors. She taunts the dog. She lies, even steals (watch that halloween candy disappear!) Imagine that! Was that sweet baby just holding it all in? Did she learn all of this from her brothers? Or Mommy and Daddy? We all know Russ rolls his eyes all the time!

What a responsibility given to us to raise this little girl! Belle is a sinner, and our job is to show her her sin and point her to God. But Belle is beautiful! And she is loved by me, her daddy, her brothers, her grandmas and grandpas, her friends (she has many, believe me!), and above all, by God. We pray daily that she will grow up to be a godly woman, and through God's grace devote her life to Him; to live a godly life, to serve Him and others, and to someday find a godly man to marry - Arggh! That man has some serious criteria to meet!!! . . . . . . . . And sometimes, we wish she would not grow up at all.

Although we as Christians know Belle was not perfect when she was born, she was "perfect" to us. And as she grew, her sin grew. But to us, she is still perfect. We love her despite the rolling of the eyes, the screaming, the fighting, the slamming of the door.

And that's how God sees us, those that have given their lives to Him. He loves us despite our sin. He sees us as perfect, washed with the blood of lamb. He loves us unconditionally.

So, today, we celebrate Belle's 5th birthday. We celebrate her life, her five years! We praise God for her health, her smile, her vivacious personality, and we pray that she seeks him more and more with each passing birthday!

Happy Birthday, Belle!

Thanksgiving 2008

Here we are. Thanksgiving, 2008. It's been exactly a year since we felt the tug from God to adopt. We did not know from where or when or how, but we felt the call. We are so thankful for all we have. Think about it. What did you have on your tables today? Food, plenty of it. Family and/or friends, laughter, maybe some tension, maybe some "squabbles", but you had food, and fellowship of some kind. That is where it started for us. Many would look at us, the St. Johns, and say, "they are not rich, not wealthy". Alas, we are! We have an overabundance of food, we have family, we have hot coffee, warm showers, a roof over our heads, and each other!! We are so wealthy. We even have much to give. So, that's where it started. We felt the call to grow our family through adoption, and to provide a family for someone who does not have one. No, we are not "saving" a child, we are adopting a child into our family, just as the Lord our God adopted us.
"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons."
(Galations 4:4,5)

As we continue to wait for our children, we praise God this Thanksgiving day for all he has given us! The turkey, the potatoes, the pumpkin pie! Even the tension and the squabbles, for the Lord is truly gracious and GOOD!